yo everybody!!
juz went to batam a few days ago...
heex. =))
fun there sia.
played golf, shopping, massage, swimming
and worse of all........................................................
feed mozzies!!!!
help!!!! hahs.
juz crapping. went with my family.
they were lyk...so crazy sia.
but the fried rice there was damn nice!!
love it sia.
missing it now!!!!
haizz....sianz lor...
come bac liao muz work work work again!!
aiya...wadeva cant crap ler.
gotta go work!~
buhbye!~~~~ ^_^

smiles. =)))))

In affluent country such as Singapore, it is common to find parents acceding to their children's material needs without much thought. In some cases, the parents are rich so money is not a problem. For others, it could be a case where both parents are working and feeling guilty that they could not spend much time with their children, they hope to compensate through satisfying the material needs of their children. Whatever the reason, we must be aware that the happiness or closeness that such materials bring about is usually short-lived. Eventually, what's count is whether you are there when they needed you most. Do you offer a listening ear when they have grievances? Are you there to share their joy during joyous occasions? Are you there to lend them your shoulder when they are sad? Do you know their likes and dislikes? Do you know what's happening in their life, be it in school or even at home ? If not, then it's time for you to spend more time with your children as much as you could.

As the saying goes :

'You may fool some of the people some of the time,
You may fool some of the people all the time,
You may also fool all of the people some of the time,
But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.'

In parenting, trust is a key element towards building a good relationship with your children. Trust cannot be bought but has to be gained over time. You have to learn to trust your child and at the same time, teach your child to trust you. Mutual trust is the most powerful factor that binds a relationship. Don’t be overly suspicious if your child came home late by an hour once in a while. Instead, showed concern and asked him/her if has any problem, feel free to raise to you. Showed him/her that you genuinely trust him/her not to lie to you. Educate him/her that trust has to be gained. It can takes a long time for one to trust somebody, but it can just take a simple lie to totally destroy the trust that one has built up over time.

It is also important to tell your child that trust is not equivalent to total freedom to do whatever he/she wants. Instead, you trust him/her to do things within certain boundaries or limits. It is a breach of trust if he/she has gone shopping with friends and come back telling you that she has stayed back in school to study. If you have found out the truth, what would you do ? My suggestion is to be calm and tell your child that you felt hurt that he/she has breached the trust you have in him/her and you hope that he/she would not repeat such act again.

I once read a book and there was this description of event which has impressed strongly on me. It was something like that : "A child (let's call him Joe) was playing on a swing when all of a sudden, another child (let's call him Issac) came running and push Joe so hard that Joe fell onto the playground. Immediately, the parents of Joe started to give Issac a scolding and Issac's parent a piece of their mind too. After apologizing, Issac's parent started to explain that Issac is an autistic child and seek their understanding. On hearing the explanation, Joe's parents immediately changed their view and apologized to Issac's parent."

The point is "How often do we make assumption about the behaviour or action of children without first giving them a chance to explain ?". An example : You are in a rush to send your child to school but just as you stepped out of the house, your child received a call on her handphone and started speaking. Then while talking, your child walked to the kitchen while you waited outside the door. When the child returned, you immediately scolded her for taking too long on the phone but in actual fact, the child has already finished the call the moment she went to the kitchen and she has gone to the kitchen to have a drink. You would be surprised that such little misunderstandings could, in the long term, lead to deterioration of the relationship between you and your child. Since the child is always at the receiving end without being first offered an explanation, he or she would feel that the parent has no trust in him or her, and eventually either stop explaining to or communicating with the parent. Hence, my advice to parents is that before you start putting the blame, scolding or punishing your child, give them a chance to explain themselves and then assess if the explanation is reasonable or not. It will help to build the trust between you and your child.

Nowadays, it's common that both parents work and hardly have enough time to bond with the children. Some say it's the quality and not the quantity of time spent. I agree to a certain extent, but that's not my point today. I simply want to say that from my experience, the best time to bond with your kids is just before bedtime. No matter how tired, I always find it worthwhile to spend some time with the children before bedtime. That's the time when they would lie down on the bed, relax and tell you all sorts of school stories or whatever topics they can think of. Remember, the focus is on them, not you. Try not to criticise (or nag them), but offer your thinking or advice. I've been doing this since they were young and I believe it is a major contributing factor to the open relationship that I have with my daughters today.

If your kid is 12 or 13 years old and once in a while would ask you to blow her hair for her after bathing? What's your typical answer ? "You're so big already, can't you do it yourself ?!". If that's your answer, then sadly, you may have missed out an opportunity to bond with her. I suggest you take the perspective that it's a superb opportunity to bond with her 'cause this may be the few chances of you having physical contacts with your kid at this age. Secondly, while blowing her hair, have informal chat with her. Come to think of it, when did you last sit down and chat with your kid ?

As they grow older, chances are such opportunities would come more rarely. So seize them while you can.

My kid just created this blog for me yesterday, and even showed me how to edit the HTML template. Immediately, I praised her for learning all these by herself. However, when I discussed with my colleague, his immediate concern was "What's the risks and benefits of having a blog ?". That really set me thinking and do see some point in his concerns. Are kids exposing too much personal information indiscriminately when blogging ? Do they know how to draw the line by distinguishing what is considered "public" or "private" information ? It sets me educating my kids on responsible blogging and not to disclose relevant personal data unnecessarily, for e.g. when registering for online games or other websites of no importance.

Parenting is a continuous process. When opportunity arises, we should seize it to educate our kids. For e.g. the recent phishing of the banks presents a good opportunity for my kid to learn that not all websites are for real and that bank will never ask for personal a/c or pin via email.

`I am a typical father.
`working my life away
`looking towards retirement

`MY FAMILY

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